Keep Going On
by livefoevercalzona
Summary: When Rachel loses someone close to her she is comforted by a tormentor... better summary inside. G!P Rachel. Endgame Faberry Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn. Rated T for now will change in later chapters. This is my first story so please show me love.
1. Chapter 1

Glee Fanfic

Title: Keep Going On

Rating: M

Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt)

Chapter 1

"Hey what you doing?", Rachel says as she walks up behind Carmen.

Carmen looks up with a start and covers the book she was writing in and stares up at Rachel with a blank expression.

"uhm, nothing important just writing I guess, what you doing here Rach?"

"I told you I was coming over after school, is something the matter? You seem a bit jumpy there?" Rachel asks voice laced with concern

Carmen looks at Rachel and immediately feels guilty. "Rae I'm sorry I forgot, I was a bit pre-occupied today"

Rachel feels that there is something that Carmen is keeping from her but chooses to ignore it. "No need to apologise, if you want me to leave its really not a problem."

"No baby please just stay. So how was school?"

Rachel sighs, this year was suppose to be her year. Glee Club was finally seen as 'cool' and the jocks were no longer picking on them. There has been a decrease in slushy facials and she could hardly remember the last time Artie was thrown in a dumpster. That being said, there were still three people who for some reason were the founding members of the 'WE HATE RACHEL BERRY' fan club. Yes she was talking about Queen Quinn Fabray and her to lackeys Santana and Brittany, even though Brittany is a bit too innocent for her own good.

"School was good. I got the solo for sectionals in Glee today, let's just say that Mercedes was not very happy with that." Rachel says with an amused expression

Carmen let's out a breathy chuckle. "Well the girl is jealous what do you expect? And how were the 'Unholy Trinity' today?"

Ever since Rachel told Carmen about how Quinn and Santana have been towards her she has been worried. For the last few weeks Quinn has made it her personal business to bring Rachel down. But Rachel Barbara Berry will not be brought down by anyone especially the HBIC of William McKinley High School.

"Baby, don't worry about Quinn, okay? Her bark is so much worse that her bite" Rachel says trying to reassure her concerned girlfriend.

"Okay if you say so baby. But on a lighter note how is my not so little friend doing today?" Carmen says with a sexy smile on her face.

Rachel looks at Carmen through hooded eyelids and replies. "Come over here and see for yourself"

When Rachel started dating Carmen she had been terrified that her birth defect would scare Carmen away but she was wrong, Carmen had embrace every part of Rachel, even the parts that were not supposed to be there and loves Rachel no matter what. Rachel and Carmen had been together for two years since they met at breadstix when Carmen had been stood up by her date. The had spent the entire night talking about themselves and there dreams. They had not stop seeing each other since. Even their parents had accepted their relationship because they could see how happy their daughters were.

Carmen walks over to Rachel and gently pulls her in for a kiss. Rachel the deepens the kiss as she becomes aroused. Carmen could feel Rachel become hard and started to let her hands roam. Rachel's body was on fire she wanted Carmen and she wanted Carmen NOW!

A few hours later the two women lay in bed out of breath and satisfied.

Carmen looks at Rachel. "I love you so,so much Rae, no matter what"

"I love you too baby, so much"

The next morning Rachel walks into school the a big smile on her face. Her and Carmen were better than ever, she had her solo, everything was going goo...while she was in the middle of her internal monologue, she had failed to see the purple slushy coming her way. She felt the ice going down her argyle sweater and heard student laughing at her. Her walked fast towards her locker to get her slushy kit and went for the bathroom. While she was cleaning up she heard the door opening.

"Wow, look guys a midget got lost on the way to its oohmpah-loompah anonymous meeting"

Rachel heard the voice of one third of the Unholy Trinity and turned around to see that she was now surrounded.

"Santana, its good to see that your attitude grew just as much as your chest size over the summer. Why do you insist on messing with me? What have done to yo-"

Rachel was cut off by Santana," You wanna know what you did to me Hobbit? You are breathing and I don't like you"

"That's enough San. Look Manhands I don't care how 'cool' glee club has become, you will always be a loser. Simple as that really" says the HBIC Quinn Fabray.

After her encounter with the three Cheerios, Rachel's day had become worse. She had be slushied three times and Santana had given her a swirly as well.

It was finally time for Glee and Rachel could not have been happier. When she got to the choir room everybody was already there talking amongst each other. Rachel sat down in one of the front seats and waited for the meeting to begin. As usual Mr. Shue was late.

"Alright guys as you know sectionals is coming up and we have to be ready. So we know that Rachel will be doing the solo, while Kurt and Mercedes did the duet. I want Artie, Puck and Finn leading the group number. Oh and before I forget, we have three new members that would like to audition"

As he said it Rachel saw her nightmares walking through the door.

"Mr. Shue there is no way tha-" Rachel was cut off by Quinn.

"Look Manhands, nobody cares what you have to say so why don't you shut that huge trap of yours for ONCE?" Quinn looks into Rachels eyes and see that the little Diva was hurt by her outburst. Not that she actually cared.

Rachel looks at the three cheerleaders with suspicion. "Mr. Shue, not to be the one to point out the obvious, but this is just a ploy so that they can spy on us and report back to Coach Sylvester".

The rest of the Glee Club is silent before there is an sudden flurry of whispers. Out of the back row someone says "I have to admit that I do agree with Rachel, Mr. Shue they definitely not here out of there own free will". The rest of the Glee Club looks around and notices that it was Kurt who had spoken. And the rest of the club agrees.

Will looks at his Glee Club and says while looking right into the small divas face, "well Rachel, you and Kurt and whoever else don't agree with this will just have to take it, coz unfortunately for you we need the numbers or we won't be able to compete, is that what you want? For this Glee Club to go nowhere?"

Perplexed at Mr Shue's reaction Rachel replies, "of course not, but surely there is another way that we can make up the number Mr Shue!" Rachel could see her safe zone getting smaller and smaller.

Quinn looked at Rachel and saw her turmoil, "Look Treasure Trail, I don't like you, actually, come To think of it nobody likes you, and I know you think that Glee is yours simply because you are that self absorbed, but we are here so deal with it okay?"

"Yeah Hobbs who knows maybe we could be friends even?" Santana says, but immediately starts laughing along with Quinn.

Brittany looks on with a confused expression, "San, I don't get it".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee or any songs I might use in this story. I only own Carmen and my imagination.**

**Authors Note: I would just really like to thank everyone who has reviewed and followed and favored this story. I have a clear vision of where I want this story to go but its not yet set in stone so please feel free to PM me your ideas and I will try to incorporate them. Also I attend college so I'm not sure how frequent my updates will be but I will try to make it as often as possible. Most of my posts will be around 13:30 or 19:00 South African time.**

_**Previously... **_

"Yeah Hobbs who knows maybe we could be friends even?" Santana says, but immediately starts laughing along with Quinn.

Brittany looks on with a confused expression, "San, I don't get it".

Rachel gets home and goes straight to her room,storming right past her fathers who she had not even noticed in her rush for solitude. When she finally did get to her room, she quickly closed and locked the door. _**I can't believe that this is happening right now! **_She thought to herself. She was in such deep thought she didn't hear her phone ringing.

Her phone stops ringing and the text alert goes off. Rachel finally notices her phone lighting up.

**Text received from: Carmen**

Rachel smiles softly and opens the message.

"_**Hey babe I guess I missed you but I hope you had a good day. I really hope the "Unholy Bitch Squad" didn't get under your skin. Anyway, when you have the time please call me... Love you. C"**_

Rachel laughs loudly at her girlfriends nickname for the three cheerleaders. She decides to go get something to eat before replying to Carmen. As she walks down the stairs she hears her fathers talking.

"I really hope nothing bad happened to our Star today at school. I really hoped that the bullying would have stopped by now." Says Hiram Berry as he starts cooking dinner.

"I know I hoped so too. Rae seemed a lot happier recently. I'm just glad she has Carmen. That girl has really been there for her recently." Replies LeRoy Berry. They both turn as they hear footsteps coming from the stairs.

"Hey Star, we were just talking about you." Said LeRoy.

" Oh yeah I heard you, you don't really have to worry about me. Sorry I didn't see you when I walked in, my head was in a different place." Replies Rachel.

"Oh? Well did something happen that we should know about or..."

Rachel cuts him off, "Uhm nothing really important. Just some glee club drama as usual."

"What happened honey?"

Rachel wonders if she should. Tell her dads about the cheerleaders joining Glee. She decides against it as she knows that her fathers will worry for her safety."It's really nothing daddy. I can handle it."

"Hey baby" Rachel hears Carmen before she sees her.

"Hey how did you get in here?"Rachel asks as she leans in to kiss her girlfriend.

"Your dad let me in. I hope that's okay with you."

"Uh yeah no problem. I was actually just about to text you back. Anyway guess what happened today."

"Uhm you found the formula to a growth serum?"

"Haha! Oh you're a comic genius" says Rachel

sarcastically.

"Okay in all seriousness babe, what happened? Your dads told me you came home in a mood. What's up?"

Rachel looks carefully at Carmen," Quinn and her merry band of bitches joined Glee today. They have now officially polluted my sanctuary."

"I thought they hated Glee." Said Carmen confused as to why three of Rachel's tormentors suddenly decided to join a club they have been dissing since the start." I don't like the sound of it Rachel, something's gotta give here".

"I know, that's what I told Mr. Shue, but as usual he had absolutely no regard for my opinion. But if he wants to give coach Sylvester the ammo she needs to take us down, who am I to stop him? I mean its not like I'm the biggest star he has. If I decide to leave he won't have anybody to carry his already sinking ship of misfits."

Carmen laughs lightly at how passionate her girlfriend is, "Baby don't worry I'm sure that he will find it out for himself sooner rather than later"

"I really hope so, what would I do without you babe?"

"Hopefully you will never have to find that out. I love you." She kisses Rachel passionately and Rachel moans into her lips.

"Baby...we have to stop before my dads walk in on us" Carmen starts to stoke Rachel over her pants.

"Mhm, baby you're so hard. Come on you know your room is soundproofed. We just need to lock the door" Carmen moans out.

Rachel is dazed in her lust, thrusts herself into Carmens hand," No baby we have to stop. Its almost time for dinner and my dad will come and call us when its done."

Just as Rachel finishes her sentence there is a knock at the door," Come on girls time to eat" booms LeRoys voice. "Don't make me come in there and hose you both down". Both of the girls turn red of embarrassment and tells LeRoy they will be right down. They hear him laugh as he goes back down the stairs.

The next morning Rachel woke up with arms wrapped around her waist. She looks behind her and see Carmen still fast asleep. _**I really don't think I could ever live without her in my life. She makes me strong. She's the only reason I haven't done anything stupid to myself. **_Rachel thinks to herself. She doesn't realise that she is staring until she hears Carmen speak.

"Hey what you looking at?" Says a sleepy Carmen. Rachel looks down at her before she replied.

"Just how beautiful you are when you're asleep baby"

"I look like shit Rach" she laughs. Rachel chuckles.

"Yeah you really do, but I love you dispite how crappy you look when you wake up"

Carmen giggles before she suddenly turns serious,"you know I'm gonna marry you one day right Rach" Rachel looks at her and sighs.

"Yeah baby I know baby, and I can't wait to be your wife and have kids with you. We would make beautiful babies"

"Yeah we will baby, I can't wait. I'll be a big time lawyer and you're gonna have won your first Tony award babe" Rachel can already picture her and Carmen together with children. And she would do anything to make it a reality.

**Well that's all folks hope you enjoy in. Review are welcome so please don't hesitate. Also certain words maybe spelt differently. This is not spelling error its just certain words that would ususally have a "z" would have an "s" in South Africa. Also please tell me where I could improve as well as what you would like to see happen. Thanks, ezra_storm**


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt)

I do not own glee or it characters.

All spelling and grammical errors are mine and mine alone.

**To whom it may concern**

**Congratulations! You have been excepted into Oxford University in England. We the board and faculty has reviewed you application and it is of great pleasure to announce that you have been chosen for a full scholarship...**

_**OH MY GOD! What the fuck am I gonna do now. I didn't think I'd actually get in. I can't pass this chance up. There is absolutely no way.**_

For the first time in a long time Rachel felt happy. So far everything was going her way. She had a beautiful girlfriend and they were already making plan f...

_Splat!_

Rachel suddenly felt the cold mesh on her face and heard the laughing and taunts and she suddenly remembers why she can't wait to the Lima ,O-fucking-hio. She heard Santana before she saw her, not that she could see much thru the corn syrup anyway.

"See ya in Glee Treasure Trail, hope you like Grape" sneered Santana.

"Freaking love it" said Rachel in a low voice. She went to her locker to collect her emergency slushy kit. She really couldn't believe how juvenile some people could be. _**If they hate me for just breathing I could just imagine what would happen if they found out just how close to home some of their taunts are.**_ Thought Rachel bitterly.

She walked into the bathroom and failed to notice Quinn walking out of one of the stalls. Quinn just stares at Rachel quietly. Quin has always felt bad for the diva. She knew Rachel never deserved anything that happend to her. But ultimately in a game of me vs them. Quinn had to protect herself. She refused to go back to being Luck Caboosey the imperfect daughter of the "perfect" all American family.

"Quinn?"

"What Stubbles?"

"You're staring at me I thought maybe there was something you wanted?"

"Yeah, actually there are many things that I want. You know world peace, the end of world hunger, for Miley Cyrus to finally get clue and lastly...and this one is important okay so listen good. I. . To. Stay. Out. Of. My. Face. Got it?"

Rachel looks at Quinn and wonders what set her off but knowing not to poke at a lion Rachel let's it be.

It was time for Glee and Rachel knew exactly what song she wanted to sing. She decided on _**Bubbly by Colbie Caillat**_ and dedicated it to Carmen in her head.

"Mister Shue? I have a song I would like to sing please?"

"Sure, go ahead Rachel, the floor is all yours."

_**I've been awake for a while now**_

_**You've got me feelin' like a child now**_

_**'Cause every time I see your bubbly face**_

_**I get the tingles in a silly place**_

Rachel thinks about how she felt when she first met Carmen. It was the first time somebody had admired her passion for music and her need to be on Broadway.

_**It starts in my toes**_

_**And I crinkle my nose**_

_**Wherever it goes**_

_**I always know**_

_**That you make me smile**_

_**Please stay for a while now**_

_**Just take your time**_

_**Wherever you go**_

The scariest moment in Rachel's life is when she had finally told Carmen about her birth defect. She has been prepared for Carmen to laugh and tell every body but she hadn't been prepared for how accepting Carmen was.

_**The rain is falling on my window pane**_

_**But we are hiding in a safer place**_

_**Under covers staying safe and warm**_

_**You give me feelings that I adore**_

Rachel had always felt safe when it came to Carmen. She was Rachels first everything and Rachel couldn't have given that to anyone more special to spend those special moments with.

_**They start in my toes**_

_**Make me crinkle my nose**_

_**Wherever it goes**_

_**I always know**_

_**That you make me smile**_

_**Please stay for a while**_

_**now just take your time**_

_**Wherever you go**_

It had always been easy for Carmen to put a smile on Rachels face and she was so lucky that her dads had excepted Carmen for her even though Carmen was almost two year older than her.

_**But what am I gonna say:**_

_**When you make me feel this way**_

_**I just mmmmm**_

Carmen had always made Rachel feel as though no matter what happend in her school life she would always be in Rachels corner when she got home.

_**And it starts in my toes**_

_**Makes me crinkle my nose**_

_**Wherever it goes**_

_**I always know**_

_**That you make me smile**_

_**Please stay for a while**_

_**Now just take your time**_

_**Wherever you go**_

_**Dada dumdudum dumdadadadadum**_

_**Ohbodododododododum mmm mmm**_

As Rachel finished the song she thought how she could never be without Camen in her life. She was Rachels person.

_**I've been asleep for a while now**_

_**You tuck me in just like a child now**_

_**'Cause every time you hold me in your arms**_

_**I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth**_

_**It starts in my soul**_

_**And I lose all control**_

_**When you kiss my nose**_

_**The feeling shows**_

_**'Cause you make me smile,**_

_**Baby, just take your time**_

_**Now holdin' me tight**_

_**Wherever, wherever, wherever you go**_

_**Wherever, wherever, wherever you go**_

_**Wherever you go**_

_**I always know**_

_**'Cause you make me smile**_

_**Even just for a while**_

It was only when she had finished the song that she realised that she was crying. Everyone including the Cheerios applaudes her and she goes to sit back down.

Carmen sits in the same place in the same positon for most of the day looking at the letter that changed everything.

Oxford had always been her school of choice and when she didn't get in after her Senior year of high school she was devastated. Ir was only when Rachel came back into her life that she felt complete again.

"What the fuck am I gonna do. I've wanted this for so long now and now that I have I can't see my slef turning it down. But in the same breath I can't see myslef leaving Rachel. I just can't decide."

**Okay so I know a lot of people are becoming attached to Carmen and don't want to see her hurt. I still haven't completely decided her actual departure from the story. I guess its a mystery to us all .**

**Truth be told I'm a big fan of Carmen as well so we shall see how this goes**


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt)

I do not own glee or it characters.

All spelling and grammar errors are mine and mine alone.

I've now decided to add a POV. Not sure for how long but think it will be easier to transition thru the different scenes this way.

Carmens POV

I've been hiding the acceptance letter from Rachel for the last 3 weeks. I just don't know what to tell her. She would be crushed if she found out and that I kept it from her. The scholarship starts in seven months from now. That gives me some time to figure out a way to to tell Rachel and not break her heart.

_**Well no one ever said I never tried the impossible before.**_

I hear a knock at my door and I know it can't be my roommate so I go check out the peephole and see Rachel smiling outside. I almost don't want to open the door because I'm afraid I might just blurt it all out and I really don't want that.

I open the door and Rachel rushes in before I can even greet her. "Hey baby. What cha doing here?"

"You sound as if you don't want me here babe. Is something the matter?" Rachel asks me and I can see the worry in her eyes.

"No babe its not like that at all. I'm just surprised. You usually call before coming over."

"Yeah I know but I really wanted to see you. I hope you don't mind."

"Uh no, not at all. Can I get you anything?"

"Sure chamomile tea would be great thanks"

Rachel POV

"Okay sure I'll get right on that", Carmen tells me as she goes into the kitchen.

I really don't know why but I feel as though Carmen has been acting a little weird recently. I'm really not sure what's been going on with her but she seems almost distant and its worrying to me.

I walk around the room and something catches my eye. One of Carmens letters appear to have some sort insignia on it. I go in for a closer look and as I read the first two lines of the letter I almost drop it. It reads:

**To whom it may concern**

**Congratulations! You have been excepted into Oxford University in England.**

I check for a date and it looks as if Carmen got this letter at least a month ago.

"Why didn't she tell me?" I ask myself aloud

"Because I didn't know how to." I hear Carmen behind me but I'm not ready to look her in the eye just yet. I feel the tears start to fall.

"So I assume you're definitely going to Oxford? I mean you have to go. Its a great opportunity" I said and I'm to afraid to hear Carmen's reply. We are so much alike that I know that she has already decided to go.

"Yeah, I am. I was going to tell you when the time was right Rae." She tries to turn me around to look into her eyes. "I love you so much Rae. I don't know what I was more afraid of. You finding out like this or me not ever wanting to leave."

"You could have told me. I'm not some puppy that you need protect. No time would have been the right time. I just hate that you didn't trust me enough to be happy for you." I tell her.

She's looking at me as though she is about to break my heart with what she is going to say next. "Rae, one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you yet is because I wanted to enjoy these last few months with you."

Carmen's POV

I can see the realization coming to Rachel as she let's my words sink in."What do you mean ,'last few months'?"

"I mean that I am not willing to try a long distance relationship. I'm so sorry Rae." She just keep looking at me with this blank expression that almost scares me to a point of slight panic. "Baby please say something. Please anything just please don't just stand there. Please don't be stoic right now."

"I really don't know what to tell you here Carmen. I mean it kills me that you won't even try it out. How long before you have to leave?" She asks with tears in her eyes.

"I leave in seven months babe." I look into her eyes and I see the start to go over everything in her head.

"Well then I guess that we have seven months to be together. Lets not waste it on tears and fighting okay?" She tells me and I'm so shocked I almost had to ask her to repeat. But I don't out of fear that I heard wrong.

I lean down and kiss Rachel. She accepts the kiss and deepens it. I can still feel the tears on her cheeks and it makes me wonder if she is staying in this relationship for my sake. Because I'm selfish I just keep kissing her.

Rachel's POV

I don't know why I said I would stay but in that moment I meant it. This was the woman I loved and even though I am broken I will pretend for her.

There is so much emotion in that kiss. Carmen breaks away and looks me in the eye. "Let's go to my room baby." She tells me and I just nod.

We get to her room and we start to undress each other. Once we are both naked we fall onto the bed. I've never felt more vulnerable in my life.

She kisses down my body taking my nipple into her mouth and sucking it. She then kisses down to my navel and kisses around it. My extra appendage is now at its hardest standing proudly at attention. She kisses past my throbbing appendage and down to my thighs. She begins to lick the insides of my thighs right up to my ball sack. She then licks up the entire length of my member.

"Oh...God, mhm Carmen please." I can't help but moan. She is putting my body into overdrive. She finally take the head of my cock into her mouth. And in that moment I forget that she is leaving me. She starts to swallow my member inch by inch until its full length is in her mouth. She says there for a few seconds and starts do hum over my pulsating cock. I feel as though I am about to blow. She releases my member and then starts bobbing her head on my cock. I pull her up so the she is looking at me.

"Please baby let me love you." Is all that I can say to her. She nods her head at me and I ask her a one word question."Condom?" She points at the bedside draw and I go to take one out. I open the packet and roll the latex onto my painfully hard cock.

I flip us over so that I am on top of her. "You ready?" She nods her head at me again. My hand traces over her body and into the space between her legs. She is so wet. I feel it redundant to tell her that though. I'm sure she knows. I thrust one finger into her and watch her arch her back off of the bed at the intrusion. I then add another finger and set a slow but hard pace. She is moaning my name and is becoming louder.

I slowly remove my fingers from her hot, wet pussy and I position myself over her and I aim my cock at her entrance. It is a dance we have danced so many times before. To the same music that we composed of our own love.

I slowly push into her and watch my length disappear inside of her. I stay still to allow her to get used to my cock inside of her. When I am sure she is ready, I begin to move with slow deliberate movements. She wants me to go faster to go harder but I don't. I stay at the same pace for as long as possible before I speed up. I feel her walls tightening around my member and I know she is about to cum. And so am I.

"Let go baby. I'm right here with you." I moan out to her as I feel my balls tightening, begging for release. And when she finally cums its like a domino effect and I climax into the condom.

I her her whisper to me,"I love you so much baby" and before I can respond she is already in a deep slumber.

**Well that's all folks. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I think I figured out Carmen's exit from the story. This was the first time I ever wrote any type of smut so please don't crucify my if its not that good. I know my last chapter was a bit short and I hope this one was long enough to satisfy. Thank you guys for the kind reviews and follows. Please don't hesitate to give me pointers on how I can improve. Your criticism is most welcomed**


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt)

I do not own glee or it characters.

All spelling and grammar errors are mine and mine alone.

I've now decided to add a POV. Not sure for how long but think it will be easier to transition thru the different scenes this way.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Rachel's POV_

Its been five long excruciating months since I found out that Carmen was leaving. Five months ago I thought I could be okay with the love of my love packing up and leaving me for God knows how long and I was powerless to stop it. I don't know why I told her we could stay together until she left. It seemed like the obvious choice at the time. But now I'm starting to realise that maybe I had spoken too quickly. Maybe I was so desperate for human affection that did not belong to one of my fathers that I made myself believe that I could stay with Carmen knowing that she was leaving.

Just to be in the same room with her is painful. I've been avoiding her for the last week. I've been picking fights with her so that she won't try to contact me. It has now become this pathetic waiting game between us as its killing me.

_**At school**_

Have I mentioned that Carmen isn't the only one I've been snappy with recently? I haven't? Well I am now. I don't know what to do and it's driving me insane.

I walk into the choir room for Glee and as I look up I realise I'm the last to arrive. Mr. Shue look perplexed and honestly I could really give two fucks about him right now. I go to sit in the back of the class. The first person to address me is, unfortunately, Santana.

"Wow RuPaul, never thought I'd see the day. Why you late? Had to stop off and get some razors for you mustache?"

I turn to look at Santana and thankfully it's Mr. Shue that speaks up because I was about two seconds away from completely snapping at a bitch. "That's enough Santana." Says Mr. Shue.

"So as you guys know, Regionals are coming up fast and we have to decide on a set list. So Rachel I was thinking that you could start off with a solo and th-", Mr. Shue continued before I cut him off.

"Mr. Shue I was actually hoping someone else could take the solo for Regionals. I mean everyone is always complaining about me getting all the solos that I've decided that I don't want to do it the year. I'm wiping my hand of that responsibility, I have more pressing issues to deal with anyway" I say and everyone is staring at me disbelieving.

"Woah, hold the _**HELLZ**_ up Berry. You're saying that you, don't want a solo? Are you sick. They didn't have the right rabbit food to feed you in the mushroom that you obviously live in Smurf?" Said Santana in full snark mode and I had finally had enough of it.

"Santana, why don't you just. Shut. The . Fuck. Up. I am so done with your bullshit and its going to stop. NOW! I'm officially over you and your "Hate On Rachel Parade", okay" I see the shock on everyone's face and I don't care because I've decided that I'm done taking things laying down. I was not yet done with Santana who still had her mouth opened in shock. But she speaks before I do.

"Oh? And what are you gonna do to stop me? Huh? You gonna poke my eyes out with that pointy nose, no maybe you're gonna burst my eardrums with that screeching you call singing, o-" the slam can be heard before it can be comprehended by anyone, including me. I'm so shocked that I actually layed a hand on someone but its been done and I don't regret it. So I take a step closer to Santana to whisper in her ear.

"If you don't stop. And I do mean stop everything, the name-calling, slushies and just you bringing me down for absolutely no reason. I may just be inclined to let it slip to JBI that you and Brittany has be having some 'special' time in the janitors closet lately. Do we have an understanding?" Santana is too shocked to speak but she still looks me in the eye with a panicked expression and nods.

I hate that I brought Brittany into this but it had to be done. I turn around and the room in silent. After a moment Mr. Shue finally snaps out of it, "Rachel that was absolutely uncalled for, I suggest you apologise to Santana right now." I roll my eyes at the man who claims Glee Club is a family but would still do absolutely nothing for any of us except Finn.

"Actually Mr. Shue I'm done for today. Too much drama. At the rate we're going there might not be any left for tomorrow." I walk out the room without a glance back.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Carmen's POV_

I don't understand it. The first three month were fine then all of a sudden Rachel stops talking to me. I know her excuses are lame. But I know I can't confront her without it being a fight. There is a knock at the door. When I open I'm immediately excited to see Rachel. But that excitement dies out as soon as I see the look on her face. I move in to give her a hug but she just step back.

She opens her mouth to speak, "Carmen, I love you but I think we should break up." And just like that she walks away and just like that I feel my heart breaking.

I close the door and slide down it. And I cry. I cry for a loss that I will always feel. All I want to do is find Rachel and hold her but I know that she won't let me.

_**I think we should break up. I think we should break up. I think we should break up. I think we shou-**_

I run that line through my head like a broken record. The same line. The same pain. The same loss.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Quinn's POV_

_**I think Rachel finally snapped.**_ Well at least that's what Santana says. The one day I miss Glee and I miss all the drama. I knew this day would come. Its why I've been backing off when it come to Rachel.

Yeah, Rachel only in my head. I could never call her just Rachel, it would open the doors to friendship and I just can't allow that. And its not because I can't stand her. It actually the exact obvious.

I will only allow it to be said in my head, because I, Lucy Quinn Fabray, is helplessly in love with Rachel Barbra Berry.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**Well that's all folks! Didn't really like this chapter but I wanted to get it out there. And I wanted to give Quinn a voice. Thank you for the reviews and advise.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: When you lose the one person that knew you better than anyone, the only person to know that secret you've been keeping from everyone...you start losing yourself. Rachel/OC Rachel/Quinn Faberry Endgame...G!P Rachel (first fanfic attempt****)**

**I do not own glee or it characters.**

**All spelling and grammar errors are mine and mine alone.**

**I've now decided to add a POV. Not sure for how long but think it will be easier to transition thru the different scenes this way. **

**I know somebody expressed that they didn't want Quinn to be introduced as a love interest right away because it's predictable... It was never and is not my plan to have Quinn and Rachel together this early in the story.**

_Carmen POV_

Its been a week since Rachel came to my house and broke up with me. My days feel emptier without her in them. Now that she isn't around everyday, I start missing thing about her that I took for granted before. I miss when she sang to me. Or how she would just barge into my house and start ranting about how incompetant her Glee director is. Or how she would seek comfort after another hard day with Quinn and the almighty slutbags that follows her around, Rachel's words not mine. I've tried calling her but everytime I get voicemail, it's like my heart shatters all over again.

"I e-mailed the Dean of Addmissions at Oxford and asked if I caould move in earlier that expected. So I'm leaving in like four days. I just thought you might want to know" I tell Rachel. I had to come to her house because she wouldn't answer her phone and I really needed to tell her I'm leaving.

"Okay, I hope you have a safe trip then." She tells me and goes to close her door.

"Wait! Look can we just talk? I feel like there is this tension, and I understand why it's there, but I don't just want to leave without as resolving all of this first" I look her in the eye. I know I'm close to crying but I can't seem to find it in me to care at this point.

"Look, Carmen, I really just want to get on with my life. I do love you, I always will, but...it just can't go on the way it is right now"

_Rachel's POV_

"...it just can't go on the way it is right now"

I just want her to leave. I'm so over being this hurt. The sooner she leaves the quicker I can try to heal from this.

Carmen turns to leave but she turns back to look at me," I love you so much Rachel"

"I know" she nods...

"Goodbye Rachel"

"Goodluck in England, I hear it's cold"

She chuckles as she turns to walk away. And as I watch her leaving I know its the last time I'll see her.

_School_...

I felt different when I walked into scholl today. It was as if I was seeing this place for the first time, and in a way I was. It was the first time walking into this place knowing that I'm on my own. I didn't have Carmen anymore to comfort me on a bad day.

It's the last period of the day and I'm walking towards th choir room. I'm trying to be as cautious as possible. After last weeks outburst it almost as if I'm waiting for Santana to come at me sideways.

I walk in still 15 minutes early and I go to sit down. The door opens and I look up to see the one and only Santana Lopez looking right at me. As she walks towards me, my life flahes before my eyes, and I'm almost completely sure that I'm going to die.

"You had no right bringing Britt into our shit Berry", she tells me when she sit down, "I do however appreciate the genius of you slapping ability, but I don't think anyone is better than Q in that department."

I throw her a side glance and think carefully before I say my next words. "I know I shouldn't have brought her into it, but I am so sick of trying and trying and trying with this club and never gaining any respect. I am so tired of boosting everybodies morale when everybody finds this sick pleasure in putting me down. Santana, you will never understand what it's like to be me and you are so lucky for that." When I fifnsh my rant I look at her again and she is looking to the ground.

She opens her mouth to say something but she is stuck. "You know Santana, the Glee club will support you if you came out to the."

"Yeah I know Berry, they will surport you to if you told them." I must look extremely confused because Santana sees the need to elaborate. "I mean if you told them about your dick Berry."

I stared at Santana wide eyed, but before I could say anything the rest of the Glee kids walk in and I go into panic mode. I don't even realise that Glee has started and is in full swing because the only thing going through my mind is, HOLY SHIT.

_Santana's POV_

I've known about Rachel's 'condition' since last year when I forgot my cellphone in the gym locker room and she was taking a shower.

I mean sure I could have just told everyone about it, but not even I am that cold hearted. I may not like RuPaul but I know what it's like to have a secret that could ruin your life. Especially in a place like Lima.

Glee is finally over and for once there was no drama. Everybody getting up to leave except for Rachel.

"Sanny are you coming? I wanna have my sweet lady kisses.", Britt tells me

"I'll be right there Britt, I just gotta do a lil something first"

"Okay." She says in a reluctant voive and leaves the room.

I walk to wher Berry is sitting and I can tell that she is in a state of shock. "Berry will you please chill out. Geez its not like I'ma tell anybody. Okay?"

"Why not? I mean you will have the most perfect piece of information to share with you barbaric friends"

"What you don't even wanna know how I found out about you...you know"

"No not really, the point I believe is more that you know more than anything else"

"Yeah well I'm not gonna tell anyone. I actually think its kinda hot. I mean I'd do you, if you weren't such a loser"

She cracks a smile at me before she responds," And because you have Brittany, right?" Huh? Oh yeah my girl Britt.

"Me and Britt aren't together. She's with Artie. We just have a lil bit of lady loving fun every now and again."

"Well then I that case. Let's go for it the." What the hellz is this chick talki...she isn't actually conside...with me...an..." I do mean let's go for it. I mean who am I gonna tell? Its not like I have any friends. You can still hate me all you want. But hey, we all have needs right?"

"Yeah..." Wait. WHAT! Did I just agree with her?. "Okay. Let's do it." Again WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

"My dads are out of town until Sunday. You can come around when you want I guess."

"Yeah sure Berry, you just better be worth my time. I'm not gonna hold you virgin ass hand while you try to figure it out." She stands up with a smirk. As he walks past me she whispers in my ear.

"Who said I'm a virgin?" And she walks out of the room leaving me alone.


End file.
